Sunday, September 11, 2005

Schizophrenics Say the Darndest Things

I enjoy listening to conspiracy theorists. They speak with conviction and make inferences with all the reckless abandon of a P-head in a high-speed car chase. Whilst copping a sleep in the library today (yeah, so?) I overheard a particularly good one. He even looked disconcertingly like that King of Delusional Paranoia, Philip K. Dick.
He repeated the usual Bilderberg, US Government are Satanists, Bohemian Grove, Skull & Bones stories, but had two very interesting - and to best of my knowledge, novel - theories.
The first is that Hurricane Katrina was going to miss New Orleans, but Satan (bastard that he is) guided it on course (presumably by blowing). A+ crazy, D- imaginative.
The second was that (drum-roll please) George H. W. Bush, as head of the CIA, made the young George W. Bush engage in sexual conduct with other senior members of the CIA and somehow gave him Dissociative Identity Disorder and 'programmed' one of his personalities to be an evil Satanist, the other a good Christian (it's 'well-documented' that all upper-level CIA agents 'donate' their children for these purposes). George W. Bush is half good-half bad, and 'they' can somehow switch between the two to use him as a puppet. Our conspiracy theorist said he felt sorry for Dubya, who 'really believes he's a Christian'.
The funniest thing he said, though, was that he was surprised his mother didn't want to listen to the truth. But then, he concluded, she is 'of a different generation'.
I used to think it was a waste that such obviously intelligent (he was quoting newspaper articles from 10 years ago down to the month, and I think it does take some level of intelligence to invent such an intriguingly complex world) people waste their time on this sort of nonsense. It does provide entertainment for the rest of us though. If there was a madman on every corner, the world would be a much more interesting place. It worked for Philip K. Dick.
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